Air travel is safe and fun
Before buckling up for takeoff, makee
sure to check under your seat for terrorists.
Only a small minority
of passenger flights result in a hideous "crash
Just follow this simple
diagram if you and the others are to have any hope of
Life vests in first class
are equipped with a tin of Pringles and a wedge of smoked
Children who refuse
to "shut the hell up" should be smacked sharply
on the head.
If a terrorist should
brandish a box-cutter, leap out the nearest emergency
Passengers are encouraged
to yell "Wheeee!" while sliding to safety.
Once the shark tears off
your legs, the seat cushion keeps your bloody torso