Brownie
the Clown makes us all frown
By John Breneman
Buffeted by gale-force, Category 4 criticism for botching
the federal response to Hurricane Katrina, embattled
FEMA chucklehead Mike Brown was sent home to prepare
for his new post as the national poster-boy for governmental
dementia.
However, the Humor Gazette has learned that Brown's blithering
incompetence and his status as a grossly underqualified political
hack were not the only reasons he was relieved of his doody.
A source close to the 18-year-old sex intern who is banging
Brown's resume-padding consultant says there is evidence linking
Brown to an elite Middle Eastern equestrian unit called the
International Arabian Horse Association.
Brown reportedly concealed ties to the terror pony syndicate
on his resume, which reportedly exaggerated his qualifications
to hold any job whatsoever. For example, a resume entry entitled
"Oversaw dairy industry cleanup efforts" is an apparent
reference to Brown's role in utilizing a paper towel to wipe
up some milk that spilled in his kitchen in the late 1990s.
When informed that he has being yanked from the hurricane
relief effort, Brown made some asinine remarks about going
to his warm, dry taxpayer-funded mansion to pig
out on Mexican food and stiff margaritas.
However, several witnesses at the press conference swear
Brown actually said, "(Bleep) FEMA. I'm gonna hop in
my Beamer and get (bleep)-faced on Zima."
Posted 4 years, 9 months ago on September 12, 2005
