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Sources:
Rocker Rob Zombie not an actual zombie
 By
John Breneman
Rock musician Rob Zombie, one of the nation's best-known
bogeymen and a role model for a generation of young mutants,
is not an actual zombie, the Humor Gazette has learned.
In fact, documents reveal that Zombie is not even Mr. Zombie's
real name. Born Robert Bartleh Cummings in Massachusetts,
he is a 1983 graduate of Haverhill High School, where he was
voted "Most Likely to Devour the Flesh of a Rotting Human
Corpse."
Mr. Zombie, whose body of work includes such sensitive numbers
as "Superbeast," "The Devil's Rejects"
and "Scum of the Earth," is considered a pioneer
in the genre of satanic, sub-grunge anti-pop.
 However,
even though he has mastered zombie habits like gnawing on
people's necks and staggering around trancelike with his arms
extended, his image has been bloodied by the allegation that
he is not a real zombie, but a Massachusetts-born, monster-man
wannabe.
Local 666, International Brotherhood of the Undead released
a statement saying it became suspicious of Mr. Zombie when
it learned he is only 41. Most zombies are anywhere from several
hundred to a couple thousand years old. It also noted that
Mr. Zombie is "a masterful self-promoter," whereas
most zombies avoid publicity like the morning sun.
Related reading:
"Everything
You Ever Wanted to Know About Zombies But Were Too Horrified
to Ask"
New movies:
"Revenge
of the Living Dead 5: Dibs on the Brain Meat"
Posted by John Breneman on October 27, 2006 8:21 AM
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