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Tweety Bird sues Twitter for $500M
 By
John Breneman
Twitter, the phenomenally popular social networking service,
faces a massive lawsuit that threatens to cripple its ability
to transmit millions of inane messages known as "tweets."
13 O'Clock News has learned that beloved cartoon icon Tweety
Bird is suing Twitter for $500 million. (See
VIDEO.)
Attorneys for diminutive yellow bird charge that Twitter,
whose logo is a diminutive blue bird, is guilty of "toppy-white
infwinz-ment" and theft of "inta-wectual pwa-puddy."
The suit also requests unspecified damages for "pain
and tuffawing."
A spokesman for Mr. Bird demanded that Twitter cease and
desist from using the term "tweet" in its business
practices - claiming that it is confusing consumers and negatively
impacting the Tweety Bird product line of pajamas, lunchboxes,
fridge magnets, bobbleheads and speech impediment DVDs.
However, technology analysts say Mr. Bird may simply be hoping
to cash in on the meteoric micro-blogging service before it
is displaced by the next cyberspace flash-in-the-pan.
Studies show that many users quit Twittering after the first
15-30 minutes, and that Twitter is already losing ground to
such newly emerging rivals as Fritter, DillyDally, TimeSuck
and LollyGag.com.
And while supporters point to its vital role spreading real-time
information about the unrest in Iran, critics say the service
is used primarily by time-wasting tech nerds to share news
of their latest bowel movement, and by pompous celebrities
to validate their gargantuan egos.
Other new services vying to become the next big thing include:
WhySpace, Babble, iChatter and Spammy.
Also: Yammer, BrainFreeze, SlackBerry and AssBook.
In other legal news:
Ex-Chihuahua
sues Paris Hilton
Posted by John Breneman on June 17, 2009 9:51 AM
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