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« Dear Sarah (advice column) | Page One | Tweety Bird sues Twitter for $500M »

GOP death squad eyes 'job-killing' Obamacare

I think I've figured out why the Republicans give their bill such a snarky title.

An act to repeal the:

The Socialist, Neo-Nazi, Job-Killing, Elderly-Smothering, Anti-American, Unconstitutional, Jammed-Down-Our-Throats, Keep-Your-Stinking-Government-Hands-Off-My-Medicare, Tax-and-Spend-Liberal Health Care Law

Forgive them, for they suffer a pre-existing condition.

It's a rare combination of electile dysfunction, cerebral hemorrhoids and congressional meningitis.

Their condition appears serious -- aggravated by political (though fortunately not moral) discomfort when asked why they both utilize and oppose publicly funded health care.

Tests show they may also suffer from:

-- Ideological leprosy
-- Unmitigated gallstones
-- Esophageal bloviation
-- Male-pattern hypocrisy
-- Soul weevils
-- Post-traumatic soiled-pants syndrome
-- Degenerative pharmaceutical-industrial complex

In the video below (right), I run through some of the additional risks of exposure to health-care reform rhetoric (including restless middle finger syndrome).

Finally, some fool-proof investment advice: Buy bananas!!

Stephen Colbert was rollicking last night spoofing Glenn Beck's Goldline scam with his pitch for Yellowline. Confession: I love Colbert so much I made this ridiculous video (below left) pledging allegiance to his Americone Dream Ice Cream.

This just in (five years ago):
French doctors perform first ass transplant

Also today: A shout out to Bartcop, an awesome political/humor site serving the Internets since roughly 1842. A testament to their excellent taste in humor is their not infrequent linkage to our satiric exclusives.

American redneck savant salutes
Colbert's AmeriCone Dream ice cream

Warning: Health-care rhetoric
may be hazardous to your health

Posted on January 6, 2011 1:21 AM | Permalink

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