Notoriously thin-skinned Sarah Palin is out with a lucrative new In-Your-Face cosmetics line -- made with the exotic oils of freshly clubbed baby seals.   Palin blistered Barbara Bush as a "blue blood" in a recent revenge rant and voices near-daily grievances with the "corrupt bastards" in the "lamestream media."

Her special Thanksgiving message on Facebook wasn't a no-brainer like blessing the troops. Instead she torpedoed the media for mocking her "North Korean allies" gaffe and then listed off some Bushisms by Barack "57 States" Obama.

Palin's special In-Your-Face serum, made in West Korea by pregnant unwed teenagers, has 50% more acerbic acid than other leading brands. She dissed rivals Estee Lauder and Elizabeth Arden as too "politically correct" and said her products are specially formulated to let the inner nastiness ooze from every pore!

Junk-food politics*

Sarah Palin exercised her First Amendment right to sound petty, mean and politically oafish while sucker-punching Michelle Obama for her good-faith efforts to keep America's children healthy.

On Laura Ingraham's radio show Wednesday, Palin charged that America's much-loved first lady has a troubling "different worldview" and reminded everyone that Michelle once uttered a quote that Republicans have been using ever since to tar her as un-American.

So after taking the usual shots (Michelle hates America, worshipped Rev. Jeremiah Wright), Sarah reloaded and started blasting away at Michelle's seemingly bullet-proof pro-healthy-children stance.

Palin said: "Take her anti-obesity thing that she is on. She is on this kick, right. What she is telling us is she cannot trust parents to make decisions for their own children, for their own families in what we should eat."

Of course, that's not what Michelle is telling us at all. She's telling us that childhood obesity is something we ought to pay a lot more attention to because it shortens children's lives and costs the nation billions.

But then it's never about reality with the Alaska reality TV lady -- widely credited with inventing "death panels" to try to kill "Obamacare."

Whether she's whacking Hillary Clinton for a 1992 quote, bashing JFK's religion speech or calling Barbara Bush an elitist "blueblood," Sarah's the star of bizarre political theater that promotes her cartoonish, fear-based "different worldview."

Facts and context are mangled, handcrafted into shivs, then brandished to inflict political wounds. Sarah lashed out at Michelle and Big Brother Barack to "get off our back, and allow us as individuals to exercise our own God-given rights to make our own decisions." Wow. It's like paranoid political sci-fi. Wonder how she resisted trotting out Hitler for a riff about goose-stepping Obama Youth.

Though Palin's mavericky multimedia presidential positioning petrifies many in the GOP, she is gleefully executing the Republicans' scorched-earth strategy of undercutting anything -- even if it helps kids -- that might reflect favorably on the president of their country they claim to love.

They've shown they're OK with jeopardizing national security, sabotaging the economic recovery and -- increasingly now with Palin -- refudiuating even the pretense of respect for the presidency.

* Junk-food politics -- salty, brightly packaged soundbites that contain no nutritional or civic value.

ALSO: A Thanksgiving video blessing from Mr. Billy Buck Teefus -- American redneck savant

Chocolate chip
on her shoulder

I'd been hearing that Sarah Palin busted out Hillary Clinton's infamous 1992 "baking cookies" quote to slam the now-Secretary of State.

I couldn't imagine the swipe being anything other than stupid, gratuitous, shallow and lame, but I couldn't find the full passage online. So I was forced to crack open my brand-new copy of "America by Heart."

Damn, no index. (Actually, I was eager to look up "Hitler" before tracking down "Hillary.") No problem. Check the chapters. That was easy: "Mama Grizzlies." Boom: Page 136.

The pro-life, anti-health care Palin was hammering feminists who she says criticize her as being on the wrong side of women's issues just because "I don't share their leftist views."

The Hillary smackdown comes after Palin likens her gender martyrdom to what Clarence Thomas deals with from haters in the black community.

Aggrieved by these perceived sister-on-sister attacks, she returns fire, saying that "all too often the leaders of the modern feminist movement seem disdainful of traditional family life and the joys and fulfillment we find in motherhood."

Ouch! Anti-traditional family values AND anti-joy of motherhood! To support this charge, she offers up Hillary Clinton as Exhibit A-hole.

"Remember Hillary Clinton's famous rant, when her husband was running for president, that she wasn't, in her words, "some little woman standing by my man like Tammy Wynette"? Hillary is someone I like and admire personally in many ways, but she came across then as someone frozen in an attitude of 1960s-era bra-burning militancy. She told us in no uncertain terms that she "could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas" but preferred to pursue a serious career. "Well, Hillary (many of us wanted to say at the time) some of us like to bake cookies. Some of us also think we can do that and still have successful careers. And most of us don't think we have to run down stay-at-home moms in order to make ourselves feel good about our choices."

And most of us don't think we have to trot out 18-year-old quotes to run down female-political-superstar moms in some weird attempt to score political points.

And hey, what is it with the cookies?

Just two weeks ago, Palin was in Pennsylvania making a big deal about serving dozens of cookies to schoolchildren. She had heard (incorrectly it turns out, but who cares right? it's Palin) that Pennsylvania was going all Nazi on sweets, trying to ban cookies from schools. She ginned up the "controversy" with a breaking-news tweet: "Nanny state run amok!"

Surreal political performance art -- at the school and in the book.

* Stay tuned to The Daily Palin for more mini-reviews of "(Real) America by Heart: Reflections on (Exploiting) Family, Faith and Flag (for Fun and Profit)."

Here's how to turn the TSA airport
fiasco into an opportunity to save trillions!!

The Daily Palin: PAGE TWO    //