A report in this month's Bethlehem Journal of Medicine reveals
that myrrh -- once a popular Christmas and birthday gift --
can cause a variety of ailments ranging from asthma and rickets
to bubonic plague.
Complicating the apparent health risk is the fact that very
few people seem to know what myrrh actually is.
However, researchers at the University of Persia claim the
substance -- a bitter, resinous powder made from the sap of
trees found in Somalia and Ethiopia -- causes a range of malignant
conditions in laboratory rats. Further, one of the test rodents
began to exhibit a messianic complex.
Scientists involved in the study claim there is also powerful
anecdotal evidence to suggest that myrrh is bad for your health.
"Look, Jesus was exposed to a whole bunch of myrrh as
a baby and we all know how things turned out for him,"
said Dr. Trey Weisman, principal researcher and co-author
of the new book, "Myrrh: Get That Junk Away From Me."
Weisman warned holiday shoppers to check the labels of their
perfumes and other toiletries to make sure they are myrrh-free.
But Tiffany Murtagh, who works the cosmetics counter at Wal-Mart
in Milan, said no myrrh is found in any of today's most popular
scents. "Myrrh is like so 2,000 years ago,"
said Murtagh, inviting a visitor to sample the new
fragrance by rapper 50 Cent -- 50 Scent.
Compounding
the potential danger, the FDA is warning that at least one
death has been traced to a batch of tainted myrrh from China.
The black-market Chinese myrrh is said to contain additives
ranging from arsenic and asbestos to coal and reindeer feces.
In other news: "Frankincense is the new crystal
meth." The addictive whitish powder can be smoked or
snorted, the Humor Gazette has learned, and sources are reporting
a dramatic upswing in SWAT team raids of illegal frankincense
labs throughout the rural South and Midwest.
By
John Breneman
Compounding
the potential danger, the FDA is warning that at least one
death has been traced to a batch of tainted myrrh from China.
The black-market Chinese myrrh is said to contain additives
ranging from arsenic and asbestos to coal and reindeer feces.