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Incredible Hulk endorses
Dean
By John Breneman
 Howard
Dean reached out to voters throughout New Hampshire today,
building on his newfound status as the first major presidential
candidate to emit an unnerving squeal on the campaign trail.
 A
senior adviser said the screech that punctuated Dean's aggressive
concession speech in Iowa on Monday night was actually a calculated
effort to demonstrate that "George W. Bush isn't the
only guy in this race who's a little loco." The spokesman
also denied a rumor that Dean was "jacked up on angel
dust" for the speech or that Rush Limbaugh had slipped
him an OxyContin mickey.
Though it frightened small children and made dogs whimper
and cover their ears, Dean's speech won him the support of
the bipartisan Primal Scream Foundation, as well as an influential
union endorsement from Local #257 of the Brotherhood of Ornery
Orators.
 The
group's president said, "This race is about calling attention
to the Bush Administration's mishandling of the war, education
reform and the economy. Howard Dean is the only candidate
with the political courage to deliver that message by rolling
up his sleeves, squinching up his eyes and squealing like
a banshee."
With the Jan. 27 New Hampshire primary looming, Dean also
received celebrity endorsements today from Macaulay Culkin,
Ned Beatty and the Incredible Hulk. But John Kerry has taken
a small lead in the polls and today received the coveted endorsement
of the Heinz Ketchup company newsletter.
As with any ridiculous politically incorrect blooper, there
is plenty of spin.
Republican strategists charge that Dean's "meltdown"
is just further evidence that he is possessed by "liberal,
tax-and-spend evil spirits."
A source close to Dean countered that the "high-spirited"
speech proves the candidate is not just pandering to the temperate,
thou-shalt-not-scream-and-shout wing of the Democratic Party."
Dr. Judith Steinberg Dean declined to comment other than
to say she had prescribed a mild sedative.
1-22-04
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