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« Billy Buck Teefus talks Taser | Page One | Education Accomplished! 'Childrens do learn' »

How to tell if yer president is a redneck

Yep. Billy Buck Teefus here – American redneck savant.

I heard that Foxworthy feller on the TV talkin’ ’bout if this-’n’-that-whatever … you might be a redneck. And I figure I must be one, cause nine outta 10 of them sumbitches I sez yes to all of ’em.

Dang right I’s got a rag fer a gas cap? And what’s wrong with takin’ a load down to the dump and comin’ home with a bigger one?

This here’s America!

Ain’t nothin’ wrong with bein’ a redneck?

President of the U-nited States is one, ain’t he?

Least accordin’ to that you-might-be-a-redneck test, you figure:

If you gits 4,000 American soldiers killed in an unnecessary war, and then start bragging that we’s “kicking ass” ... you might be a redneck president.

If you live in the White House, but’d rather spend five months a year out in Texas clearin’ brush ... you might be a redneck president.

If yer idea of diplomacy is t’go around rootin’ tootin’ shootin off words like “smoke ’em out,” “bring ’em on” and “dead or alive” ... you might be a redneck president.

And, sure enough, if yer second in command shoots a huntin’ buddy in the face ... you might be a redneck president.

Editor's note: Billy Buck Teefus is a fictional character. His opinions do not necessarily reflect those of the Boston Herald, the Humor Gazette or the American redneck community.

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Posted on September 27, 2007 8:38 AM | Permalink

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