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« Hulk denies steroid use | Page One | Friday 13th advisory »

UN to put N.Korea on double secret probation

By John Breneman

As the United Nations mulls issuing him a "timeout," North Korean mini-dictator Kim Jong-Il today warned of more nuclear monkey business unless President Bush apologizes for calling him a "pygmy."

Kim, who is 5-foot-3 but stands 6-foot-4 in his platform shoes and freakish bouffant hairdo, may yet be spanked with sanctions for his rude, uninvited entry into the nuclear club.

Despite facing possible UN double secret probation, Kim celebrated his nuclear no-no by throwing a lavish Johnny Walker-fueled orgy for himself and six dozen teenage concubines.

"What's with those Islamic morons and their 72 virgins in the afterlife? I do that every Friday with the Joy Brigade," he said of his harem of sex slaves.

Kim, who like President Bush inherited power from his father, also threw a weekend parade in Pyongyang, where he clapped along while his 1,000-piece military marching band played "For He's a Jongy Good Fellow."

New polls show that his approval rating has risen to 106%, up from a low of 100%.

Known as "Dear Leader" among his brainwashed, malnourished subjects, Kim said that after his nuclear triumph he will also answer to "Fission Magician" and "Doomsday McMushroom-Cloud."

Related stories:

Angelina Jolie romantically linked to Kim Jong Il

Iran develops bird flu bomb

Cheney accidentally detonates nuclear weapon

Iran agrees to nuclear talks, but not nuke-u-lar

Gunfight at the WMD Corral -- Feb. 11 2005

Posted on October 10, 2006 9:46 PM | Permalink

Comments (2)

d c b:

North Korea sick of sick american humor..............!!!!...... North Korea set big fire work to see what American do now!!!!!!!!
You no good news !!!1!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1


Posted by d c b | October 12, 2006 7:50 AM

Posted on October 12, 2006 07:50

Dave Stern:

Just got this letter from North Korea:

Posted by Dave Stern | December 18, 2006 6:56 PM

Posted on December 18, 2006 18:56

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