Global economy blues

Gazette exclusives

Humor Gazette feed

Drill Sergeant loses it
(YouTube sensation!)

Handy sites (Political Humor)
Borowitz Report
Glossy News

Media Matters
New York Times
Satire Awards

« Hate exercise? Hire an exorcist | Page One | Truthiness in the No Spin Zone »

Critics praise President Bush's
'breathing space' for Iraq speech

By John Breneman

President George W. Bush's historic Jan. 10 call to send more young Americans to their deaths in order to give the Iraqi government some "breathing space" was yet another spellbinding piece of oratory.

But when future generations assess the legacy of our silver-tongued leader, they will look first to several more memorable addresses.

For example, who could forget President Bush's rollicking January 2006 attempt to use standup to make the terrorists stand down, his encore three months later as commander-in-cheek, or his March 2006 pledge that America can only fail in Iraq if we "lose our nerve"?

And, of course, many historians believe the Rev. Martin Luther King's stirring "I have a dream" rhetoric will one day be obscured by Mr. Bush's now-legendary "I think about Iraq every day" speech of June 20, 2005.

Asked what he thought of Dick Cheney's load of bull about the insurgency being in its "last throes" when violence there is actually increasing, the president disarmed the blatantly anti-patriotic question by saying, "I think about Iraq every day -- every single day."

As the world heaved a great sigh of relief to learn that the man who started the war actually finds time to mull it over each day, Bush shoveled on even more reassurance by saying, "I understand we have troops in harm's way…"

Critics said then that Bush's keen understanding of the fact that he is getting people killed "every day" suggested he might be adopting a more realistic view of Iraq than that laid out in his now-historic "Mission Accomplished" address.

The president revealed that not only does he think about his own personal Iraqi hellhole "every single day," he admitted that some days he thinks of it two or three times. Maybe even half a dozen times on Monday after the weekend death toll numbers come in.

A White House memo obtained by IBS News confirmed that some random thought or another about Iraq crept into the president's brain 57 times so far this month alone. Sources say that early on in the war, President Bush occasionally forgot to think about Iraq until Condoleezza Rice gave him a string to wear on his finger.

Fortunately, President Bush also realizes that the fate of the world rests with his ability to not accidentally destroy it, a fact he articulated brilliantly in his memorable Oct. 3, 2004, "Bein' president is hard work" speech.

The hard work can range from pronouncing wacky names like "Abu Ghraib" to deftly fielding trick questions as he did April 14, 2004, in his inspirational "I'm sure something will pop into my head" speech.

Many veteran Bush watchers give the president high marks for his provocative "breathing space" address, but most agree it will be difficult for him to surpass the startling audacity of his March 26, 2004, comic bomb -- the spine-tickling oratory of "Those WMDs must be around here somewhere."

Election 2004 flashback:
-- Aug. 27, 2004

Posted on January 15, 2007 2:09 PM | Permalink

Previous post: Hate exercise? Hire an exorcist.

Next post: Truthiness in the No Spin Zone.


About the Humor Gazette