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Cereal thrillers: Celtics go for endorsement green

By John Breneman

Bust out the milk! Celtics superstar Kevin Garnett is the new poster boy for Wheaties -- breakfast of NBA champions!

Friendly millionaires like KG know that winning a world title can do wonders for their earning potential. But what about some endorsement greenbacks for the rest of the Glorious Green Team?

The Celtics are all about the shamrocks and leprechauns. So don’t be surprised to see Paul Pierce’s smiling mug turn up on boxes of Lucky Charms after his “magically delicious” MVP performance against the Lakers. Terms of the deal were not disclosed, but imaginary sources say Pierce will earn at least several pots o’ gold.

Doc Rivers is not a real doctor. But after taking a flaccid Celtics squad and restoring its confidence and manhood (makers of male-enhancement pharmaceuticals take note) he would be an ideal spokes-Doc for Viagra.

What can Celtics reserve P.J. Brown do for you? Hub fans know this guy can really deliver; if they’re smart, so do the advertising honchos at UPS.

Ray Allen -- after getting poked in the left cornea during Game 6 -- reportedly is eyeing a deal with Visine. The Green three-point monster will tell consumers that Visine really “gets the red out,” any time you get raked in the face by a 6-foot-10, 230-pound assailant.

It’s location, location, location for new Century 21 real estate pitchman Eddie House. And Glen “Big Baby” Davis may soon be elbowing the iconic Gerber bambino from his job as spokes-infant for strained peas and applesauce.

No such luck for the Lakers. But following his humorous Game 4 recap (“We just wet the bed”), Kobe Bryant may soon be doing commercials for a new line of jock-strap diapers from the makers of Depends.

Related stories:

Obscure humorist makes Wheaties box

Hub fans bid curse adieu
(Sox celebrate 2004 championship on Opening Day '05)

Posted on June 25, 2008 8:34 AM | Permalink

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