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 Cereal
thrillers: Celtics go for endorsement green
By John Breneman
Bust out the milk! Celtics superstar Kevin Garnett is the
new poster boy for Wheaties -- breakfast of NBA champions!
Friendly millionaires like KG know that winning a world title
can do wonders for their earning potential. But what about
some endorsement greenbacks for the rest of the Glorious Green
Team?
The Celtics are all about the shamrocks and leprechauns.
So don’t be surprised to see Paul Pierce’s smiling
mug turn up on boxes of Lucky Charms after his “magically
delicious” MVP performance against the Lakers. Terms
of the deal were not disclosed, but imaginary sources say
Pierce will earn at least several pots o’ gold.
Doc Rivers is not a real doctor. But after taking a flaccid
Celtics squad and restoring its confidence and manhood (makers
of male-enhancement pharmaceuticals take note) he would be
an ideal spokes-Doc for Viagra.
 What
can Celtics reserve P.J. Brown do for you? Hub fans know this
guy can really deliver; if they’re smart, so do the advertising
honchos at UPS.
Ray Allen -- after getting poked in the left cornea during
Game 6 -- reportedly is eyeing a deal with Visine. The Green
three-point monster will tell consumers that Visine really
“gets the red out,” any time you get raked in the
face by a 6-foot-10, 230-pound assailant.
It’s location, location, location for new Century 21
real estate pitchman Eddie House. And Glen “Big Baby” Davis may soon be elbowing
the iconic Gerber bambino from his job as spokes-infant for
strained peas and applesauce.
No such luck for the Lakers. But following his humorous Game
4 recap (“We just wet the bed”), Kobe Bryant may
soon be doing commercials for a new line of jock-strap diapers
from the makers of Depends.
 Related
stories:
Obscure
humorist makes Wheaties box
Hub
fans bid curse adieu
(Sox celebrate 2004 championship on Opening Day '05)
Posted by John Breneman on June 25, 2008 8:34 AM
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