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« Edwards admits paternity, Bush Sr. may be next | Page One | The Tea Party »

Groundhog predicts groundhog-led government coup

By John Breneman

Punxsutawney Phil, the Pennsylvania groundhog credited with being able to forecast the coming of spring, popped out of his burrow yesterday and predicted six more weeks of government gridlock.

The groundhog also predicted the emergence of a groundhog-led political party, followed by six decades of peace and prosperity under iron-fisted groundhog rule.

The fuzzy, buck-toothed prophet then bit one of its top-hatted handlers and scampered back into its heavily fortified underground bunker -- a move said to portend six more weeks of economic gloom.

Additional predictions by Punxsutawney Phil include:

-- A shocking 35-31 Groundhog victory in Super Bowl XLIV.

-- Six more years of the little guy getting screwed by Washington and Wall Street fat cats.

-- Six more weeks of hibernation, y'all.

Posted on February 3, 2010 9:15 AM | Permalink

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