Global economy blues

Gazette exclusives

Humor Gazette feed

Drill Sergeant loses it
(YouTube sensation!)

Handy sites (Political Humor)
Borowitz Report
Glossy News

Media Matters
New York Times
Satire Awards

« Tweety Bird sues Twitter for $500M | Page One | Washington: 'Shining' city upon a hill »

Fox clears Palin in Arizona massacre, targets left

By John Breneman

Sarah Palin's metaphorical trigger finger reportedly has tested negative for gunshot residue from the Arizona massacre.

Forensic analysis will reveal that the shooting of U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and slaying of six others was actually the work of a lone lunatic named Jared Lee Loughner (not Sarah Palin).

A spokesman issued a statement clarifying that when Palin featured Rep. Giffords and other Democrats on a hit list, mapped their locations with bullseyes and urged supporters to "RELOAD," she did not intend for anyone to literally shoot the evil Dems she had targeted with crosshairs.

The spokesman explained that while Palin enjoys using guns-and-ammo imagery to stoke the political climate and boost her outdoorsy image, she resents having it backfire.

Fox News today officially ruled out Palin as a suspect, focusing instead on the true villain -- the Arizona sheriff who suggested that hateful political "vitriol" may have had a role in the massacre.

Issuing a correct but transparently self-serving call for rhetorical restraint (intended to pre-empt criticism about its own culpability in the toxic environment), Fox trotted out commentators to bash anyone raising the obvious question of whether the visceral political anger cultivated by the right could incite actual Second Amendment remedies.

Finding itself in the unusual position of tamping down heated rhetoric rather than stoking it, Fox urged restraint -- suggesting it is wrong to discuss the impact of political hate speech in America because here is no smoking-gun proof that Loughner was motivated by political rhetoric.

Tea Party strategist Sal Russo slammed the left as "irresponsible" for such speculation -- irresponsibly speculating that the shooter was "obviously a left-wing anarchist."

(Russo concluded with a seemingly irrelevant slam against President Obama for running around "apologizing" about America. Perhaps due to the solemnity of the situation, he generously omitted the Nazi president's penchant for "palling around with terrorists.")

Another Fox talking head dared Obama to defuse the nasty political climate that Fox has meticulously cultivated and exploited -- concluding her call for statesmanship by dubbing the president "a bit of a robot."

Meanwhile, the NRA is gearing up to battle anyone who seeks to make it harder for mentally deranged people to obtain semiautomatic weapons. (Look for a sweet new campaign targeting advocates of more sensible gun laws with crosshairs and bullseyes!)

*  *  *

David Frum: What Sarah Palin should have said about Tucson shooting

Dear Sarah: advice columnist

Posted on January 10, 2011 12:31 PM | Permalink

Previous post: Tweety Bird sues Twitter for $500M.

Next post: Washington: 'Shining' city upon a hill.


About the Humor Gazette