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Al-Qaeda
snatches Paris Hilton
 By
John Breneman
Al-Qaeda terror crackpot Ayman
al-Zawahiri has avenged the death of his pal Abu
Musab al-Zarqawi by kidnapping American hotel heiress
Paris Hilton.
Zawahiri appeared on videotape clutching a distraught, scantily
clad Hilton, who was forced to read a statement renouncing
"immoral reality TV" and calling American popular
culture "ignorant, soulless and depraved. Like me."
U.S. intelligence confirmed that the abductee seen on the
videotape -- and on a raunchy $19.95 companion bootleg --
is the flashy, trashy dumbass professional celebutramp.
Hilton also delivered her signature line -- "That's
hot" -- as the terrorist held a glowing orange branding
iron close to her cheek.
Hilton was snatched from a penthouse suite at the Baghdad
Hilton where she was shooting a sex tape with the Greek National
Guard. This according to a source close to the Mexican laborer
who cleans up after one of her miniature Chihuahuas.
Nicole Richie could not be reached for comment.
Related story:
Al
Qaeda's #2 man is cowardly piece of dung -- Aug.
5, 2005
Posted by John Breneman on June 12, 2006 8:31 AM
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