Global economy blues

Gazette exclusives

Humor Gazette feed

Drill Sergeant loses it
(YouTube sensation!)

Handy sites (Political Humor)
Borowitz Report
Glossy News

Media Matters
New York Times
Satire Awards

« Bush declares fartwa on Iran | Page One | Where's Whitey? »

JonBenet sicko linked to Pee-Wee Herman

By John Breneman

Authorities say John Mark Karr, confessed non-killer of 6-year-old beauty queen JonBenet Ramsey, has now implicated himself in the Natalee Holloway case, a Fallujah terror bombing and the disappearance of Jimmy Hoffa.

The spooky-looking Karr, a natural-born weirdo who suffers from a rare form of attention deficit disorder, has also claimed responsibility for visiting a Thai sex-change clinic, fathering Britney Spears' second child and a kidnapping scam involving Paris Hilton's pet monkey.

"Yeah, that's it. That's the ticket," said Karr, adding that he used to be married to Morgan Fairchild and is a distant cousin of Pee-Wee Herman.

Karr denied any connection to the Valerie Plame leak, U.S. intelligence failures in Iraq or the administration's sluggish response to Hurricane Katrina - but then quickly recanted, saying he was to blame. Then he asked if he could have another nifty free airplane ride with champagne, roast duck and shrimp cocktail.

Though his DNA ruled him out in the Ramsey slaying, authorities are still investigating Karr's claim that he is the bastard son of Shirley Temple's love child.

Posted on August 29, 2006 10:44 PM | Permalink

Previous post: Bush declares fartwa on Iran.

Next post: Where's Whitey?.


About the Humor Gazette