Global economy blues

Gazette exclusives

Humor Gazette feed

Drill Sergeant loses it
(YouTube sensation!)

Handy sites (Political Humor)
Borowitz Report
Glossy News

Media Matters
New York Times
Satire Awards

« Hamsters banned from planes | Page One | Bush declares fartwa on Iran »

Homeland Security cracks down on snakes

By John Breneman

Due to heightened Internet and media chatter about a plot involving some "(mother-fangin') snakes on a (mother-fangin') plane," the Department of Homeland Security today raised the Reptile Terror Alert Level to red.

Fortunately, Oscar-nominated badass Samuel L. Jackson reportedly has the mother-fangin' situation under control and is getting medieval on the mother-fangin' serpents in theaters across the nation.

The FBI is probing possible links to the Monty Python humor cell and the rumored presence of a uraniumhead yellow snake from Niger.

Federal officials slithered into action, mandating that all male passengers be vigorously frisked to determine if they are concealing anything that resembles a small or medium-size snake.

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice was shocked, saying, "I don't think anyone could have predicted those people would use (mother-fangin') snakes on a (mother-fangin') plane as a weapon."

Several leading Republicans accused the Democrats of being weak in the war on snakism and the media has made sure no American goes more than 11 minutes without hearing the words "snakes on a plane."

Related story:
Acorn plot linked to squirrel terorists -- Oct. 7, 2005

Consult your Homeland Security Horoscope

Posted on August 19, 2006 9:24 AM | Permalink

Previous post: Hamsters banned from planes.

Next post: Bush declares fartwa on Iran.


About the Humor Gazette