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« Port boss needs to get his slurs correct | Page One | Hulk denies steroid use »

Owens mulls rehab
for publicity addiction

By John Breneman

Experts say Terrell Owens' recent non-suicide attempt may have been a cry for help from a man whose brain is afflicted with a malignant, metastasizing ego.

The Dallas Cowboys superstar is so addicted to the limelight, said one psychologist, that if the chronic swelling of his head is left untreated, he risks overdosing on his own toxic narcissism.

So will T.O. seek treatment?

"Nah," said a source close to one of Owens' nine full-time publicists. "That's just a rumor he started to keep the spotlight on. Know what I'm sayin'? T.O. is takin' 'Me' to the next level."

Owens, who recently underwent surgery for a broken bone in his right hand, played well in Sunday's 45-14 victory over Tennessee.

A source close to his third-string mirror polisher said Owens had planned a new touchdown dance in which he "accidentally" flashes his left breast. However, Owens failed to score, leading pundits to predict a high-profile publicity stunt with the next 24 hours.

With the Terrell Alert Level on "High," there is widespread speculation that Owens may try to get some TV time by smuggling a weapon onto an airplane or snapping at Fox News reporter Chris Wallace. A source close to Owens' teeth-whitening specialist said T.O. is set to announce that he is the true father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby.

Editor's note: Other sources consulted for this report include the ghost writer of Owens' fourth autobiography, the guy who rubs baby oil on T.O.'s abs and the therapist who tries to keep Dallas coach Bill Parcells' head from exploding.

Posted on October 2, 2006 8:08 AM | Permalink

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