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« Airline safety tips | Page One | Kerry tries stand-up, forced to stand down »

Trick-or-Treat plot foiled

By John Breneman

A group of Washington D.C. fourth-graders has been charged with terrorist activities for toilet-papering the White House in a Halloween prank gone awry.

"Bring 'em on! Dead or alive!" said President Bush, who reportedly took refuge in the powder room while the alleged juvenile terrorists draped the West Wing with rolls of extra-plush Charmin.

Members of the prepubescent terror cell, whose ringleader was said to be wearing a frighteningly realistic John Kerry mask, are also being charged with illegal use of a personal hygiene product for smearing several White House windows with shaving cream. Also charged with felony trick-or-treating were: a fireman, the Geico gecko and a 4-foot-tall Osama bin Laden.

The schoolchildren, reportedly upset that the fitness-conscious president gave out apples and raisins instead of Snickers and Milk Duds, were required to submit to U.N. inspections of their candy bags.

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales ordered that the mischievous young evil-doers be blindfolded and sent to a barbed-wire holding facility in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

Unreliable sources said the pint-sized enemy combatants will bob for apples while strapped to a waterboard.

Posted on October 31, 2006 12:43 PM | Permalink

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