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« Kerry tries stand-up, forced to stand down | Page One | VH-1 shooting Charles Manson reality show »

America to Decider: You stink, pal

By John Breneman

A disgruntled herd of donkeys stampeded across the nation yesterday, leaving a trail of trampled elephant carcasses and delivering a massive dookie-gram to the White House.

George W. Bush could not be reached for comment.

White House spiritual consultant Ted Haggard said he advised the president to snort some crystal meth, get a massage from a male prostitute and pray.

Millions of Americans -- sick of hearing about "cut and run" and "stay the course" and "a vote for the Democrats is a vote for the terrorists" -- flipflopped the House of Representatives to start reclaiming America from the crew that dragged us into the Iraq war on phony "facts" and then botched it worse than a John Kerry punchline.

However, a Republican spokesman expressed confidence that Bush's buddies on the Supreme Court would award the Senate to the GOP.

And so, following the nastiest campaign season in memory -- negative ads featured fake mobsters, political porn and footage of Hitler -- America is ready to demand answers about the tricks used to lead us into war and the billions of dollars squandered once we got there.

The pundits predicted disgruntled voters would turn Tuesday's election into an anti-Bush smackdown, and they did. Mission accomplished.

Posted on November 8, 2006 1:32 PM | Permalink

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