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Study: Myrrh may be hazardous to your health
 By
John Breneman
A report in this month's Bethlehem Journal of Medicine reveals
that myrrh -- once a popular Christmas and birthday gift --
can cause a variety of ailments ranging from asthma and rickets
to bubonic plague.
Complicating the apparent health risk is the fact that very
few people seem to know what myrrh actually is.
However, researchers at the University of Persia claim the
substance -- a bitter, resinous powder made from the sap of
trees found in Somalia and Ethiopia -- causes a range of malignant
conditions in laboratory rats. Further, one of the test rodents
began to exhibit a messianic complex.
Scientists involved in the study claim there is also powerful
anecdotal evidence to suggest that myrrh is bad for your health.
"Look, Jesus was exposed to a whole bunch of myrrh as
a baby and we all know how things turned out for him,"
said Dr. Trey Weisman, principal researcher and co-author
of the new book, "Myrrh: Get That Junk Away From Me."
Weisman warned holiday shoppers to check the labels of their
perfumes and other toiletries to make sure they are myrrh-free.
But Tiffany Murtagh, who works the cosmetics counter at Wal-Mart
in Milan, said no myrrh is found in any of today's most popular
scents. "Myrrh is like so 2,000 years ago,"
said Murtagh, inviting a visitor to sample the new
fragrance by rapper 50 Cent -- 50 Scent.
 In
other news: "Frankincense is the new crystal meth."
The addictive whitish powder can be smoked or snorted, the
Humor Gazette has learned, and sources are reporting a dramatic
upswing in SWAT team raids of illegal frankincense labs throughout
the rural South and Midwest.
Posted on December 21, 2006 1:14 PM
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