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| Revisionist History -- July 1 »
Tie
goes to the father
What's that, chum? Father's Day kind of snuck up on you again.
Well, no need to panic. Heartfelt gifts for Dad can be found
just about anywhere -- from Wal-Mart to the corner Pump 'n'
Pay. These last-second surprises are sure to let Dad know
exactly how much you care:
 Tube
socks -- Dad'll feel like a million bucks in these $1.99
beauties -- each emblazoned with the three horizontal "racing
stripes" that say "he's the man."
Tie -- Wait'll the boys at the office get a load of
Dad in this swell corporate-looking necktie - fashioned from
durable, non-flame-retardant polyester.
Coffee mug -- His eyes'll twinkle like they did on
the day you were born when he sees this one-of-a-kind "World's
Greatest Dad" mug. Plus, if you're a total loser, this
completes a set of six.
Skin Bracer aftershave -- Who needs fancy $50 male
cologne products when every Dad knows there's nothing more
exhilarating than a splash of Skin Bracer to start the day!?!
Pack of smokes -- This one's a no-brainer if Pop's
a smoker. But hey, who cares what that bossy Surgeon General
says, Dad'll love how the intoxicating blend of tar and nicotine
makes him feel manly and super cool.
Slippers -- Comfort is important to hard-working dads
in their leisure time and these lightweight Taiwanese "mock-asins"
are perfect for kicking back in the La-Z-Boy. (Newspaper not
included.)
Can of mixed nuts -- These generic morsels pack a
party in every can. Coupled with a Post-It note reading "I'm
nuts about Dad," this item helps you express the true
meaning of Father's Day.
Roll of duct tape -- Perfect for household projects
or Homeland Security preparedness, this space-age super-product
will help Dad feel like the ultimate handy man.
Ice scraper -- Dad's heart will melt when he sees
much thought you put into his gift. And when the snow flies
six months from now, he'll be ready -- tackling stubborn windshield
ice with taunts of "Who's your daddy?"
Greeting card -- Though it actually requires some
thought, devoted offspring often like to compose a personalized
message for Dad on his special day (example: "You're
a champ, Pops!"), while creative types may add a "heart"
symbol to underscore their affection.
Lighter -- Give Dad the ability to make fire with
just the flick of his thumb. He'll be so grateful, he'll bust
out the drinks and T-bones and fire up the grill -- instant
barbecue!
Posted on June 14, 2007 9:21 PM
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