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McCain
sustains self-inflicted political wound
 By
John Breneman
Sen. John McCain's dramatic decision Wednesday to suspend
his presidential campaign to rescue American voters from economic
doom is already reaping dividends -- it is decreasing likelihood
of an economically disastrous McCain presidency.
With his poll numbers plummeting, the "economic"
situation was so urgent that McCain canceled a taping with
David Letterman, probably an even bigger strategic blunder
than admitting Tuesday that he had not yet read the three-page
bailout proposal.
After praising McCain for his courage and heroism during
the Vietnam War, Letterman tortured the Republican nominee
with blunt comic instruments.
"You don't suspend your campaign," was Letterman's
machine-gun refrain. "Are we suspending it because there's
an economic crisis or because the poll numbers are sliding?"
Letterman said McCain phoned in to cancel with some excuse
about having to jet down to Washington to save the economy.
Then the late-night host pulled a "this just in"
and showed video of McCain down the street taping an interview
with Katie Couric.
"This just gets uglier and uglier," said Letterman,
who pretended to yell to McCain offering him a ride to the
airport.
"This doesn't smell right. This isn't the way a tested
hero behaves," Letterman had said earlier. "I think
someone's putting something in his Metamucil."
Letterman also skewered McCain's media quarantine of running
mate Sarah Palin, saying that if McCain feels he's needed
in Washington he should simply call upon his "second-string
quarterback" to lead the campaign. What's the problem,
he asked. "Where is she?"
Letterman's nightly Top 10 List also mocked McCain with these
"Top 10 questions people are asking the McCain campaign":
 #10:
I just contributed to your campaign -- how do I get a refund?
#8: Can't you solve this by selling some of your homes?
#6: Do you still think the fundamentals of our economy are
strong, genius?
#5: Are you doing all this just to get out of going on Letterman?
"First of all, the road to the White House runs through
me," Letterman reminded.
"What are you going to do if you're elected and things
get tough? Suspend being president? We've got a guy like that
now!" the late-night jokkernaut continued.
"Do you think he'll ever come back?" Letterman
asked sidekick Paul Shaffer.
"Not after the drubbing that you've just delivered."
Steven Colbert offered his customary ironic support of the
Republican, pointing out that when you're president you've
got to suspend a lot of things: "Habeas Corpus,"
for example.
And noted stand-up comic Sen. Chris Dodd, Democratic chairman
of the Senate Banking Committee, said McCain's gambit looks
like "more of a rescue plan for John McCain and not a
rescue plan for the economy."
McCain's rescue plan may have begun with an 8:30 Wednesday
morning call from the Obama camp proposing a calm joint statement
on the economic situation. Perhaps fearing that Obama might
be credited with reaching out, McCain went commando.
According to reports, he finally returned Obama's call at
2:30 p.m. and agreed to issue a joint statement. But moments
later he was announcing the suspension of his campaign and
challenging Obama to do the same. No word yet if McCain will
arrive at his Capitol Hill crisis-op by parachute.
He also proposed postponing his inevitable dismantling in
Friday's presidential debate, prompting Obama to respond,
"This is exactly the time the American people need to
hear from the person who in approximately 40 days will be
responsible for dealing with this mess."
Now, just as his campaign's strategic use of dishonesty has
begun to draw more media attention, McCain is taking blows
from the left and right charging blatant political opportunism
and just plain erratic behavior.
 However,
McCain said there is no need to worry because the fundamentals
of his campaign are strong.
Related humor:
VIDEO
-- Negative ad links Obama, Hussein and McCain
VIDEO
-- Sarah
Palin: How many igloos does she own?
VIDEO
-- Poll: 100% of bums want change
Posted by John Breneman on September 25, 2008 9:02 AM
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